About the Author
My name is Kayla, and I’m the creator of The Wonderful Grace of God. Before I tell you about the blog, I’ll tell you a little bit about myself, and my spiritual journey that led me to where I am now – that inspired me to build this website.
I’m 24 years old, married to the most amazing, supportive husband ever, and I have a four year old daughter. As for religion, I grew up in an athiest home. When I married my husband I was introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which he was an inactive member of most of his life, and I fell in love with it. And, like I do everything, I wanted to dive in and follow every guideline perfectly. Pay tithing, go to church every Sunday, dress nice, etc. My husband was not a fan, and it put a wedge in our new, fragile marriage. Soon, I got pregnant. And after I had our daughter, my life fell apart.
I had severe postpartum depression and anxiety, and I became terrified of being home alone all day. I stopped sleeping and showering. I spent every second of the day watching her because I was so paranoid she was going to stop breathing. My body and my mind desperately needed a break, but at the same time I couldn’t trust a single person with watching her. It became so overwhelming, I just wanted to stop living, but I also couldn’t bear the thought of dying because in my eyes, no one was capable of taking care of her. Everyday, I just thought of how terrible of a mistake I had made by bringing a child into such an evil world, and how selfish I was for having her, and not being able to protect her like I wanted to.
And then everything changed. I started having periods of intense euphoria . I stopped eating, started drinking alcohol, I was living off of 2-3 hours of sleep each night – no problem, among so many other dangerous and terrible things I struggle to even talk about. I later found out that I have Bipolar Disorder, and it manifested after I had my daughter. I was experiencing manic episodes. I had no idea what was happening, and during the mania, I didn’t think anything was wrong, everything was great. But when I came out of it, it was a depression like I’ve never felt before. A dark place where I had to sit with all of my demons, and think about all of my mistakes, and try to figure out what was wrong with me and why I was having these crazy “mood swings” and doing things that are so not like me.
It wasn’t until I got myself into trouble and was so scared and overwhelmed that I was ready to end my life, that everything changed. I did some therapy, and underwent some evaluations where I discovered I had Bipolar Disorder, and I got to learn more about it and the dangers of going unmedicated.
At this point, my husband and I were under so much stress. During that year our marriage had completely fallen apart, as I was nearly impossible to manage. But for the first time, we had to let go of our pride and be fully vulnerable with each other. And with that came a truly life changing, spiritual experience for the both of us, and we decided right then and there that we were going to turn to God to get us through this journey. We dove into the church and its teachings. We met with our bishop regularly, fasted, prayed, faced disciplinary council, went to church, read our scriptures, and most importantly, surrendered to God’s will. I knew that whatever was going to happen was supposed to happen. My consequences were hard to pay, I had to be away from my family for quite a while. But, we got through it, with God by our side, and we came out stronger than ever.
About the Blog:
The Wonderful Grace of God is my second site that I have created, and ever since I created my first site I thought, how amazing would it be to be able to spread the gospel worldwide so easily. But I got nervous, because religion is such a controversial topic. However, the feeling that I needed to do it kept gnawing at me, and I just kept feeling more and more drawn to it, and I couldn’t deny it any longer!
On this site you will find:
- Educational/Informational Articles
- Good Reads
- My Personal/Others Testimonials
- So much more!